Los Angeles Herald, Volume 39, Number 34, 14 November 1892 — WHEN WE GO OFF AND DIE. [ARTICLE]

WHEN WE GO OFF AND DIE.

The road is rough and rocky. The road that leads to fame. Add the way Is strewn with skeletons Of thoso who have grown lame. And have fallen by the wayside; Tho world will pass you by. Nor pauso to read your manuscript Till you go oif and die. Your friends of course will print your stuff. And tell you It Is good. And when you sign it. More Anon, They'll say, I wish you would. They Just about appreciate: Aud yet I know not why They all forget you want to cat Till you go oil' and die. You'll find no shoulders hero below To help you bear your cross. You'll have to eat your mutton plain. Without your cupcr sauce; And when you read down to dessert You'll Und a dearth of pie; And you'll never know what pudding Is Till you go off and die.

Bnt there's a consolation In the thought that when we're dead If we have written something good Our efforts will be read; And friends will plant forgetmenots. And come and sit and sigh. And irrigate our graves with tears When we go off and die. —Cy Warman In Croede Chronicle. Spill tint tho Difference. "I'll sell you that cow for $30," said Farmer Muddergrass. "I'll give you only $30." replied Pclcg Weatherwax. "Well, I'll tell yon what I'll do. I'll split the difference nnd take that." "Good enough! Here's your $6, I'll drive the cow bone •iglit now." "What arc yuu talking about?" exclaimed Meddergrass. "I want $20 more." "Why do you want $20 more? Didn't you agree to spliL tho difference?" "That's what I did; und that would make the price of tho cow $25." "But you area little too fust. Didn't you ask $30 for the ccw first?" "Yes, and you offered $20." "Then you agreed to split the difference?" "Yes; and that's $25." "Oh, no. What is the difference between $30 and $20?" "Why, $10, of course." "Exactly; and when that $10 is split into two equal ports thero are two fives. Isn't that right?" "Yes; but"— "There's no but about it. You agreed to split the difference and take that for the cow; but if you want to go back on your bargain I suppose you can, as there were no witnesses. But don't you try to trade with me again, Meddergrass."—Harper's Bazar