San Francisco Call, Volume 95, Number 27, 27 December 1903 — TALK OF THE TOWN AND TOPICS OF THE TIMES [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

TALK OF THE TOWN AND TOPICS OF THE TIMES

In the Olden Time.

A retired police officer grew reminiscent the other night in the police reporters' room and told of some startling adventures he had in his years of active service. "Those were great days," he said, "when, if an officer arrested a man near the Five-mile House he would have to drag him, fighting every inch of the way, to Seventeenth street. And Ohe officer, while trying to keep his prisoner from gouging his eyes out or biting off an ear, would have to fight a gang of hoodlums, friends of the prisoner, intent on taking him away from the hated 'cop'. "I will never forget a mix-up I had with the old Bernal Heights gang. I arrested one of the gang one Saturday night, after a fight that started at Twenty-fourth street and ended at the station house. It cost me my gun, club and handcuffs and lots of skin and blood, but the man was landed. The gang swore to get even and came near doing it. "A few nights after the arrest I saw the members of the gang mistreating, a poor cow that was staked out on a hill. I started after them and they ran, turning occasionally to hoot at me. They ran into a big barn. I followed and, as I entered the door, I saw the last one of the scoundrels disappearing into the loft. Up I went after them, and though the place was dark I could see them standing in a corner ready for me. Drawing my club and pistol, I made a rush, but I never reached them. When I recovered consciousness in the hospital they told me they had found me along toward morning on the lower floor of the barn. I had fallen through a hole the devils had carefully covered with a piece of canvas and hay and then made the stand just to coax me to run right into it."

No "Highfalutin."

All arrayed in their Sunday-go-to meetin' clothes and wearing tall hats, the Michigan delegation in the -House of Representatives called on Speaker Cannon to see about their committee places. They found the Illinois man clad in a rather scrubby looking suit, with an enormous quid of tobacco in his cheek. William Alden Smith as spokesman delivered quite an oration, dwelling on the glories of Michigan and winding up with the fervently expressed hope that the Wolverine State would not be neglected. Mr. Cannon arose and said: "Gentlemen, I appreciate all that your eloquent spokesman has said, and I deeply feel the honor of this visit. I am' sure you are all aware of the perplexities of my present position, and — " Here he shifted his quid and concluded: "Oh, what's the use? Boys, I'll do the best I can for you, but let's cut out the speechifying." — Omaha Bee.

The "Old Boys.'* !

1. Old Time's a tyrant with our joys. And mows 'em down at last, sir; We'll join the dancing with the boys. But — please don't play so fast, sir! II. We'll swing the old girls once again — (Each one o' them — we know her;) But we shall join the dance in vain, , Unless the tune is slower! y, in. Old Time stands by: — We hear him cough — To warn us of our folly; He sees our gray wigs flying off 'Neath mistletoe and holly!

IV. Farewell the dance — the rosy girls — The world with music rife, sir; Thank heaven that once we kissed their curls. And that's enough for life, sir! — Atlanta Constitution.

But We Must Smile.

Really now, English journalism Is one of the seven days' wonders of the w*orld. Upon the front page of a prominent London newspaper, wedged in between an account of Chamberlain's latest doings and a story from Somaliland, is this gem of wit: "There seems to be some uncertainty on the question, 'What did the doorhandle?' Many readers are inclined to say it was the jamO, others of subtler minds suggest the fingered plate. One of our readers refers us for an answer to Messrs. Ward, Lock & Co. "Apropos of our lines yesterday on the new cure tf or insomnia we are asked by one of our readers, 'What did the shaving-brush?* This is a badgering question which we prefer to !fave to the ingenuity of other readers."

Egypt's Sacred Dances.

M. Gazet, a learned French Egyptologist, has hit upon an idea which might well make even archaeology popular— for a week or two. As the result of long excavations and researches in Egypt, he has succeeded In thoroughly recovering from oblivion the! ritual customs of ancient Egypt", and recently in a lecture brought one phase of Egyptian religion— its sacred dances, and. its magical incantations — vividly before his public. Not relying altogether upon the spoken word, he had trained Mile. Cerutti, a noted mimic dancer of La Scala Theater, Milan, and three other ladies, and these ladies, clothed as priestesses of the Pharaohs! reproduced in stately rhythmic tread all the magic and mystery, the incantations and emotions of these dances, forgotten for almost 3000 years.

Azov Sea Drying.

The Brooklyn Eagle gives a very interesting account of a geological change caught in the making. It' says: "The sea of Azov, a body of water a hundred miles or so in diameter, that, opens from the Black' Sea into the Cossack country, is reported to be disappearing, like Salt Lake. Ships are stranded at Taganrog, and the exposed j bottom, drying in the sun. converts the ¦ dust which is whirled in suffocating clouds ever wide reaches of territory. Although in the latitude of Middle France. New. Brunswick and Lake Superior, the sea, which Is nearly inclosed. ! is usually frozen over frc-m this time till March, and it may b£ that the heaping of ice blocks on the bars has dammed the water away from' some of the ports. This would be no more re-

markable than was the damming: of Niagara by ice and wind last winter, so that pedestrians crossed to Goat Island from the American shore on rocks v that were almost dry. "It is more likely, however, to denote a geologic change, due either to a rise in the earth's crust at that point— such a rise as is coins: on also in Norway, and that correspond to a sinking: here, or t the filling up of the shallow lagoon with silt carried down by th« river Don."

The Japanese Diet

The Japanese Diet, the deliberations of which are attracting such widespread attention, was formed in 1S83, the first meeting, a somewhat stormy one, taking place in the winter of 189091. Japanese members of Parliament are paid about £S0 a year as salary in addition to traveling allowances, which they are not at liberty to refuse even if disposed to do so. The number of qualified voters in Japan amounts to little over 1 per cent of the total population. All, electors must be 25 years of age and must pay 15 yen in direct national taxation.

'Anszvers to Queries. THE COLIMA— W. F., City. Tn"e steamer Colima was wrecked on the ccast of Mexico May 27, ISO.".

STAFF OF LIFE— C. R.. City. 'Bread is the staff of life" is not of Biblical origin. The phrase is attributed to Dr. Jonathan Swift and is usod in bis "Tale of the Tub."

CRUELTY TO ANIMALS— Subscriber, City. The idea of preventing cruelty to dumb animals by the passage at laws on the subject is said to have first originated with 21 «\ Martin, a member of theBritish Parliament, in 182L

BOOKKEEPING — Subscriber. Oakland. Cal. In the classified portion <«f the San Francisco directory you will find the addresses of business colles*>* that teach bookkeeping and give gra-i-uafea-certlficates, if competent, but this department cannot advertise such places.

SHAKESPEARE-DANTE — H. M., City. As to which was the greater writer. Shakespeare or Dante, Is a question that will be debated as long as there are readers. It is a matter of individual taste with those who nad the writings of both for the purpose of comparison.

PASSION PLAY— Enq., City. "The Passion of Christ," a miracle play, which of late has been produced every ten years in Oberammergau, Bavaria. Is said to have its origin in Constantinople in the fourth century, when St. Gregory Nazianzen, the bishop of that city, wrote it as a method of ««xtendlng the church of Christ.

PILOTS— W. R., City. All registered yessels entering a United States port are hailed by a pilot. If the master of the vessel declines the services of the pilot, the vessel must pay half pilotage. If a vessel entering a port la not hailed by a pilot, and reaches anchorage under direction of the master, the vessel i3 not liable for pilotage fee.

CHRISTMAS GIFT— D., Oakland. Cal. There is no impropriety for a domestic or emplora to give a Christmas present to the mistress or employer. It is a matter of individual taste, but if given by such prior to having received something from the mistress or employer it might be construed into "throwing a sprat to catch a' whale."

CRIBBAGE— G. S., Yountville. Cal. If in a came of cribbap: the play is 3. 2, 4, 5, 3, 2, the one who played the 5 is entitled to a run of four and the one who played 2. the last card, is entitled •to a run of four also, as the one who, played the five spot can make a se4. quence of four cards and the one who> played the last two can also count a sequence of four.

CUBA— S. O. C, City. By the act of transfer of the authority of the United States to the Government of the republic of Cuba. May 20. 1902. the Unit«vl Slates transferred to the people of Cuba the government and control of the island, to be held and exercised under the provisiors of the constitution of t v .c republic of Cuba.^ The United Sfate& would interfere in behalf of Cuba If there was a violation of the Monr« e doctrine.

BY-LAWS— B. L.. Vallejo. Cal. If th«» by-laws of a lodge require that a change In the same shall be submitted In writing and laid over for a week, it means that the proposition to make the change must be submitted in the form of a written resolution setting fortTi the section sought to be, changed and the proposed change. Such must be read the night of " presentation and, after lying over for one week, it comes up for action at that time. It is subject to amendment at that tim-?, and the amendment may be amended at the same meeting.

Townsenct's California glace fruits ay* candies. 5Cc a pound, in artistic lire? etched boxes. A nice present for Eastern friends. 715 Market st.. above Call bldg. ¦

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